5 Reasons to Stay in and Drink Wine

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Wine has recently become the carbs of my daily diet, not in an alcoholic sense, just in an I-really-like-wine-so-I-drink-it-a-lot-now-that-it- is-too-hott- to-eat-food.

Obviously I’m a huge propionate of wine, not only for its nutritious value but also for the forgetting power it bestows.

Example? You had a bad day at work where everyone found out it was not only the start of your period, but also that you can’t feel when your skirt is tucked into your underwear.

A bottle of wine will make you forget that.

Let’s take a moment to list the reasons why sometimes a bottle of wine can be your best company.

1. Wine doesn’t try to hit on you. Sometimes when at a bar,  ordering a glass of wine, men will hit on you. But believe or not men, we don’t enjoy being hit on 24/7, sometimes we just want to drink by ourselves. However, when you’re this good looking it’s hard not to get hit on. That’s where a night in comes in handy, a chance to catch up on the bachelorette and drink  a bottle of wine by myself? Don’t mind if I do.

2. Wine won’t refuse a cuddle. Fall asleep drunk but don’t want a sweaty man next to you, cuddle up next to your empty bottle of wine. Chances are it will still be there in the morning.

3. Wine doesn’t tell you sleeping with your ex is wrong. In fact, in some cases, it even encourages it.

4. Wine doesn’t tell you your fat. Like some asshat ex may have done recently, instead it tells you you’re beautiful. Well, when you look in the mirror with your wine glasses you tell yourself you’re beautiful…it’s like the same thing.

5. Wine is delicious (and pairs well with just about anything – denial? Anger? Chocolate? really anything).  Anyone who disagrees is clearly lacking class.

Side note:  If you’re feeling extra classy, make sure to class it up at night and grab a bottle of champagne. Nothing says “yous a classy broad” more than sipping your own champagne.

Don’t let society make you out to be the cynical single sipping chardonnay in her loft, instead embrace your inner single goddess and take a big ol’ slug of that delicious grown up juice and tell society to fuck off.

How To Build a Better Blog (Part 1)

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While it may seem ironic I’m writing an article on building a better blog (practice what you preach right?), I am.

Lately I’ve come to terms with just how much of an ENFP I really am. You see, I’m great at big picture projects, I can figure out the solution to a problem you can’t even see. And my solution is going to be great, so great that I’ll start working on it immediately – however by the beginning of the execution process I’m ready to move on. But like I said, my solution is so great and well planned that someone else can carry it out.

It’s the same thing with blogging. I like to write about myself, I enjoy going back and being able to read about my life and I think there is something special when you really get to see the writer. However, I know that if I want to be taken more seriously in the marketing world I need to have a clearer focus. I need to give advice on “building better blogs” and creating the next Red Bull content strategy.

But, that’s just not what makes me happy. At the end of the day I don’t want to discuss content strategy, I want to talk about my dating life and how stupid the men in it are – and maybe even throw in some advice about how not to end up alone, or why being alone is better. 

Back to the point, I’m really good at telling people how to be better at things. I’m great at creating plans for them and showing them how to execute it – I even supply them with tools on how to do this.

Which is why I taught a class on How to Build a Better Blog at the BCAE last month. Which was entertaining to say the least, I learned that I’d rather teach about becoming a better writer than the technical aspects of blogging.

Anyway, back to making your blog great.

Here’s what you need to do:

Step 1: Pick a focus - pick a topic you want to learn about, you’ll be more inclined to research it as well as continually write on it. Also, make sure it’s broad enough to give you an abundance of topics.

Step 2: Be Relatable - No one is going to read your blog if they can’t relate to you. However, that’s not to say if you have a bitch-tastic- tone no one will read – as there are plenty of bitch-tastic people. It’s just a matter of finding the subject matter that will relate to the broadest spectrum of people (unless you’re just writing for yourself, in which case write whatever your little heart desires).

Step 3: Be Consistent -  Don’t be like me and only write when the wine blows to the north-east. Pick a schedule, and make a point to stick to it. Either write Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and Publish Tuesday, Thursday,  and Saturday, or vise versa – really whatever works for you and  will make you be consistent.

So now you have the foundation of how to build a better blog, check back in a week (maybe two though, I am getting a new puppy after all) when I’ll get into the nitty, gritty, truth of why your blog sucks and how to fix it.

Help! I’m Stuck in a Taylor Swift Album!

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Since Taylor Swift came to market with her catchy tunes, and heart breakingly true lyrics, I’ve joked that she was reading from my diary (along with every other girl in the world).

However, the joke is over and now I’ve been trapped in her album.

With every growing fling I can feel myself being pulled towards another song. And while I enjoy the constant sound track to my love life enough is enough.

I’m tired of being able to predict the outcomes of my courtships, or ex-ships for that matter, already knowing the point when things will start going sour. Seeing the pain points brought to light by the tall blonde are just making me miserable in the beginning (though I was hoping my anti-anxiety pills would let me stop being anxiety girl –  giving me the ability to jump to the worse conclusions possible at a seconds notices – sadly TSwift’s lyrics cause me to put my cape back on).

So I’m asking to be pulled out of my T-Swift funk. I want to leave her album and move on to something more uplifting, something more about  she-woman power and less about the men who I opt to date.

While I love my Swifty-poo I’m just over the stage of endless dating to find the person who might make me feel like they are “Mine.” I’m tired of constantly always getting back together with the wrong person, of burning pictures (plus the fire department isn’t a fan of that) and I’ve exhausted my revenges plots on the men who leave me for someone else (okay I don’t really do that, I just go back to them instead).

What I’m trying to get at is that I’m done with being 22 (for about a year and a half ago now actually) and am ready for a different album to be my ear worm. T-Swift will always have a special place in my heart that, like Adele, is reserved for break ups, but currently with this new stage in my life I need a new album to wander through – preferably one that has nothing to do with men and the lack of relationships I’m hoping to find in the upcoming months.

Sorry girl, but it’s time for me to fly solo for a bit and though I know you wish I would stay, stay, stay, I have to go, go, go.

Perhaps old school Destiny’s Child will be getting a call soon…after all I am a momma who profits dollahs.

How to Decide What You Want to Do

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One of the questions we all face after completing one stage in our life it’s “what do we want to do next?” Obviously, I’m facing this now. I gave a month’s notice to my job  last week with no potential job  in hand and am heading into the scary and unknown world of unemployment.

What do I want to do next is the question that haunts my nightmares.

There are two things I know, one is that I want to do something that betters people’s lives. Since heart surgeon is out of the question (I have a minor fear of blood) it’s been a trying time to figure out what it is that I want to end up doing. The other thing is I’ve lost my passion, I’ve been hopping from passion to passion for years now and while I continue to come back to writing I’m nervous it’s not strong enough to pull me into a career of that (I see this while writing two books…so maybe I’m just being dumb).

I was talking with a coworker about this the other day though, and she said something that stuck with me “Go with your skills, not your passion.” Think about it? What is more consistent in  people’s lives, your skills. Yes they can always improve, but for the most part you won’t suddenly lose them – knock on wood. But your passion changes with the wind, just yesterday I was contemplating being an astronaut - okay maybe I just considering going on a one way trip to mars.

Basically, what I’m getting at is passion change, skills improve. If you want a job work on making your skills better, become irreplaceable  If you pick a career with the skill set your most proud of you’re bound to enjoy what you’re doing. If you pick something your passionate about now, you may find yourself in a completely different place within the year.

So how do you decide your next move? Look at what you’re good at. Chances are you’re good at it for a reason – and you’ve obviously developed those skills for a reason too – go into something where those skills can shine. Then become irreplaceable, because once you’re irreplaceable it’s hard not to find passion in something.

Attractive Never Looked So Ugly: A Note to the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch

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The face of the “in-crowd.”

First off, congratulations Mike Jeffries you finally have people talking about Abercrombie & Fitch. A brand most ignore in the mall for fear of choking to death on the horrible perfumes that are smothering your clientele.

Personally I have never shopped in your stores. Being someone who was never part of the “in-crowd” (or a size two) had little to do with that, rather the loud booming music, darkened store front, and uninventive clothing are what turned me off.

I prefer the interesting, and lasting, clothing from your competitors H&M and American Eagle – both of which I’m sporting today. Not only do they prove to outlast your clothing (in comparison to my friends, who were not in the “in-crowd” but wore your polos) they also create an inviting atmosphere to shop in.

Maybe it’s just me who likes talking with friends while shopping though? Maybe the “in-crowd” prefers to quietly shop and purchase your overly priced T-Shirts with your name stamped across their chest?

Like I said, never part of the “in-crowd” so I wouldn’t know. Please feel free to fill me in though.

While I hate you as a person I commend your business model. Exclusive is something most strive for, and you’re clearly at the top of your game with it.

However, if you’re going to make a fuss about how you only want attractive people supporting your brand maybe, as the CEO you should work on your face a bit more. The Botox, and botched lip and nose job are making you more of a freak show attraction than a loveable popular kid. Though, no matter how attractive surgery makes you, you (and your clothes) will still be ugly to me.