Wine has recently become the carbs of my daily diet, not in an alcoholic sense, just in an I-really-like-wine-so-I-drink-it-a-lot-now-that-it- is-too-hott- to-eat-food.
Obviously I’m a huge propionate of wine, not only for its nutritious value but also for the forgetting power it bestows.
Example? You had a bad day at work where everyone found out it was not only the start of your period, but also that you can’t feel when your skirt is tucked into your underwear.
A bottle of wine will make you forget that.
Let’s take a moment to list the reasons why sometimes a bottle of wine can be your best company.
1. Wine doesn’t try to hit on you. Sometimes when at a bar, ordering a glass of wine, men will hit on you. But believe or not men, we don’t enjoy being hit on 24/7, sometimes we just want to drink by ourselves. However, when you’re this good looking it’s hard not to get hit on. That’s where a night in comes in handy, a chance to catch up on the bachelorette and drink a bottle of wine by myself? Don’t mind if I do.
2. Wine won’t refuse a cuddle. Fall asleep drunk but don’t want a sweaty man next to you, cuddle up next to your empty bottle of wine. Chances are it will still be there in the morning.
3. Wine doesn’t tell you sleeping with your ex is wrong. In fact, in some cases, it even encourages it.
4. Wine doesn’t tell you your fat. Like some asshat ex may have done recently, instead it tells you you’re beautiful. Well, when you look in the mirror with your wine glasses you tell yourself you’re beautiful…it’s like the same thing.
5. Wine is delicious (and pairs well with just about anything – denial? Anger? Chocolate? really anything). Anyone who disagrees is clearly lacking class.
Side note: If you’re feeling extra classy, make sure to class it up at night and grab a bottle of champagne. Nothing says “yous a classy broad” more than sipping your own champagne.
Don’t let society make you out to be the cynical single sipping chardonnay in her loft, instead embrace your inner single goddess and take a big ol’ slug of that delicious grown up juice and tell society to fuck off.