How To With Courtney

It’s 11pm on a Monday night… you’ve seen all of the recent episodes of The Office, finished the left over Chinese food and have no interest on going to bed. So what are you to do?

Well a mature adult would review the latest new stories from the New York Times, maybe catch some twitter chats or turn the T.V. to the history channel.

I, on the other hand, would choose to log on to the ever so popular social networking site Facebook. Most of my generation has been hooked to Facebook from the very beginning. Facebook has invited themselves into every part of our lives with all of the new updates on applications (please mom take the hint I will not join Farmville!), profiles and mini stalker feeds…I mean home feeds.

Enter the term: Facebook Creeper…made popular by Urban Dictionary

Definition: ” When you go on facebook to look at peoples profiles and or photos and you go look through their friends and their friends and so on.”

” Ex: I was on facebook for 3 hours today just facebook creeping peoples photos”

Facebook creeping is most popular with mothers and college students. College students use it to stalk past ex boyfriends and girlfriends, as well as potential ones. And the occasional ugly girl that stole your boyfriend right from underneath you and flaunts it at the local college bar. But I mean obviously they aren’t any hard feelings…obviously. While mothers use it mainly to know what their child is doing every second of the day, they also use it to post obnoxious pictures from their child’s younger days. P.s. Mom, please stop posting pictures of my in the bath!

The art of Facebook Creeping is hard to master for the novice user. First thing is first, you must pick a target. Now this target could be someone you know well, or maybe someone from high school who has succumbed to obesity or just has a crappy job.

After choosing your target hope that you are friends with them, if not that is okay too. Sometimes people forget to change their profile settings and allow any one to view them. If that is the case, then you my friend are in luck!

The next step is to look at their info, figure out who they are, what types of movies they like…are they single? After you have flooded your brain with as much information as possible move on to the wall. Maybe look at some wall to walls, check out their status…are they on the verge of happiness…or are they headed down a dark path?

Have you finished with that? Are you ready for the good parts? Click on that lovely link that says “View Photos” …and there is it. The picture where the target looks like a fat ugly cow…I mean where the person you went to high school looks miserable. Worst then miserable, dare I say depressed? You scroll through his/her photos unraveling the life you never would’ve expected for them. Learning of their pregnancy scares, their divorce, and 50-pound weight gain. Self-esteem improving? Mine sure is.

By the time you look at the clock it’s 3:15am, you’re feeling a little tired but a little excited. I mean you have already gone through 5 different pages and have no idea how you magically ended up on the one you are on now.

Congratulations novice…you are now an official Facebook Creeper.