When I started taking care of this adorable little boy I had no idea what I was getting myself into. From feeding to blow outs, it was all a surprise. However, today we are focusing on the latter.
Every time I say feeding I think of a fat piglet chowing down a troth full of scraps and gravy drippings. Feeding a three-month old is basically the same thing, just messier.
First, if you can’t get to the bottle fast enough he turns into a screaming alien, hands flailing, face turning red…and then comes the head butts. It’s like he knows to go for my nose, the side with the nose ring obviously.
Once we are seated, burp cloth in place, baby in arm, bottle in hand, he starts doing this weird mouth thing, similar to this. That’s how I came to the decision that all babies (until about a year) are really Jabba the Hutt offsprings. Think about it..
All they do is lay around and eat. They are covered in fat rolls, and when they laugh it takes more effort then it should. They slither everywhere, parents (or nanny) are basically slaves who will do anything to please them, and although they are cute…you can’t help but be a little terrified. Yes, I just called Jabba the Hutt cute but terrifying.
And that, my loyal readers, is how I am a nanny to a three-month old offspring of Jabba the Hutt. Stay tuned for next week: “Nanny Diaries: Can an exorcism be performed on a baby?”