How To With Courtney

Before you start in, I realize I’m only 23 so technically this might not be the normal midlife crisis stage (unless I only live to be 46, in which case I’m right on target). 

I woke up the other day feeling like someone had piled stones on top of me. I couldn’t catch my breath, so I hit snooze.

Since September I’ve been hitting the snooze button on my life. I became a nanny because I wanted something easy, I didn’t want to think about a career or my future. I wanted money to pay the rent, and work I couldn’t take home.

Both of which I got.

After four months of 12 hour days with a baby who cries more than Jenna Burke I’m finally quitting. My excitement of being done was quickly forgotten once I realized I have no idea what I want to do next.

Remember when people used to ask you “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My answer was always a princess, a singer, an actress…basically all the things a little girl was expected say.

Well, princess as a career isn’t looking too hot right now, and my stifling fear of being in front of an audience doesn’t make singer or actress seem too appealing anymore. So what’s a girl to do? After trying on so many different “career hats” (yes I will let you borrow that cheesy term) I have no idea which one fits best.

Usually it hasn’t been a problem to find what was next. I’ve always been lucky enough to be thrown into some new big adventure, either with a job offer or literally stumbling over something fun, none of which I was ever qualified for but somehow seemed to land.  But since graduating I feel like I’m losing my network, and that horrible sense of aloneness is taking over. That feeling of fighting unemployment by yourself; the fictional princess trying to tackle a great big dragon without her army of knights.

I realize I’m not the only one in this predicament, I know at least 10,000 other college graduates are wishing they had gone for their masters instead of a real job. But I still can’t shake this feeling of fighting an uphill battle all alone.

Where are my troops? and shouldn’t there be a number I can call for some backup?