Monthly Archives: March 2012

Dating in the Twenty First Century

Posted on by

6

I am an online dater, I date people I have met through the Internet. I will pause here for your dramatic gasp.

Okay, we good?

This is my pre-photoshopped shot.

 

I wanted to create a post where I can direct people when they start to question my motives for dating online. I figured it would be easier to make a list instead of having to answer the same ten questions over and over again.

Now, before we get ahead of ourselves, this isn’t a post to reveal all of the dirty insider tips of online dating (we’ll save that one for next month when I need the hits). This is more to assure people I am not completely crazy, and no I have never met someone off of an AOL chat room (side note: do people use AOL anymore?)

Anyway, here are my answers to all of your questions and then some:

1. Yes,  it would be nice to casually run into someone at my favorite coffee shop. I would love for a good meet cute to tell at parties. Instead, I’m stuck with making up stories of how we met through our mutual friend Ian.

2. Yes I have met a lot of crazy/weird/delusional people off of the Internet. One pretended he was Edward (from Twilight), I may or may not have left in the middle of the date.

3. No, it’s really okay. You don’t have to set me up with your roommate’s, cousin’s, brother’s  friend who you met at a party two weeks ago. But thank you for offering.

4. Actually, I didn’t get a cat because I’m lonely. I bought a cat when I had a boyfriend. Don’t give me those eyes!

5. What happened to my last boyfriend? Oh, um I think he fell into a giant sand pit and was swallowed by a man-eating snake.

6. No I did not push him. He fell!

7. Yes, I’m sure that’s what happened.

8. Usually dinner, like a normal date. Then he brings me back to his dungeon and makes me whip him with fox tails. Honestly, that’s how most of my dates end.

9. Hmm, do I photoshop my pictures? Does Tyra wear a weave?

10. One time a guy asked for a video of my feet. I’m not sure why. After trying to get one thousand dollars out of him –he finally gave up. Then asked me out on a date. I said if he wanted to pay me five thousand dollars we could meet for coffee.

The Stand Up

Posted on by

3

So, I stood someone up today. I’m not proud of it, and feel absolutely horrible. I also have avoided speaking with the person in question because I don’t know what to say.

It’s not like I can say “well, I just kind of wimped out, sorry.” or that “I’m not ready to date, and have no idea why I said I would go on one with you.” (which is more of the real answer)

The more I think about it, and the more guys I talk to, I’m really not ready to go out and cast my reel.

how to fix a broken heart

This past weekend I was looking at my sister’s wedding pictures, and my ex was right there, standing next to me. We looked so happy, it was awful. Obviously I quickly closed out and deleted them, I did not stare at them while listening to Adele…I definitely did not do that.

With every day, hour, minute, it’s supposed to get easier, right? I mean I’m only supposed to be utterly heartbroken for half of the time we were together, well at least that’s what Kate Hudson told me.

So what do I do when I’m not getting any better, and although I tell myself it was for the best I can’t help but feel crushed every time I hear a certain song and he isn’t sitting next to me. Or the fact (and I’m a little afraid to admit this because it shows how completely pathetic I am) that I haven’t watched South Park since the break up, it was one of the shows we always watched together.

The thing is I know I’m being an emotional train wreck (at least inside, I’m pretty sure most of my friends think I’m dealing with this …well not now). I know that I should just move on, that he isn’t waiting around for me…that (and to quote) he “just feels uncomfortable being around me” …because after sharing future plans with someone that’s how I would want them to feel.

I’m sure there is a better way to be handling this, and yes there is an Adele ban in my apartment now, I’m just not sure what that is.

False Advertising- Disease Central

Posted on by

3

Gardasil Ad

If you're going to join the fight against cervical cancer why not donate to the National Cervical Cancer Coalition?

Television makes things look scarier, it also lies. Please keep in mine I will not be discussing Paula Abdul in HD, this is about advertising…not drunk judging.  

To back it up a bit, I recently went to the lady business doctor (in my opinion this is a better name and will for the rest of my life refer to it as the lady business doctor) because I was having some lady problems. Not to get into too much detail–but it’s been a month of testing that just got a bit more complicated (no I am not pregnant, if I were this post would be called 10 ways to make it look like an accident).

After waiting patiently for three (maybe more) weeks I finally got a call. And besides having an extremely low-level of vitamin D, my blood work was basically okay (nowhere near where I thought it was). Then, the tables turned…I had an abnormal pap smear. Not knowing what this meant but being absolutely terrified of cancer I stupidly asked. Casually my ex-favorite doctor said “Well it could be one or two things, but potentially HPV..why don’t-”

I stopped listening after she said HPV because in my mind HPV is a horrible disease where everything goes in black and white and everyone looks at you with a pathetically sad face. (In the background the girls who got the shot are chanting and doing jump rope tricks. Bitches.)

I had a mini panic attack because T.V. (cough Gardasil in general cough) had told me this is something I need to freak out about. I knew that it is too early to even be thinking about the big C (no I will not call it by its real name) but I couldn’t help but go to the dark place T.V. wants me to visit.

The worst part? I’ve researched the shit out of HPV, turns out people (women as well) can get it and nothing happens…their immune system just fights it off  like nothing (this is without taking the shot). Information that would be helpful right off the back, considering stress (of not having had the shot) can lower your immune system.

Side note, thanks to one amazing woman (Leah Bonnema) and freak-search (research done when you are freaking out) I learned that even if I did have HPV, and it turned into cervical cancer there are so many tools today made just for early detection. So if you have it, there is help. None of this get the shot or die crap. 

If someone is going to tell me all about my lady business, I would appreciate them to tell me the whole truth…not just the truth that makes me buy their product. But then again I feel this way about almost all products–which is why I’m not in advertising.

I understand why medicines like Gardasil take this route, after all one of the biggest motivators for people to get a shot/take a pill is death. So why not capitalize on that fear?

“Supposed to” vs “Want to” (Part 1)

Posted on by

2

Girls running

In my mind this is what I looks like during a run...

I am supposed to be writing a “homework” post for this inbound marketing class I am taking. But as most people know I hate writing pre decided posts on my personal blog. So instead I’m going to do what I want to, which is write about love, life and other crap that we all go through on a  daily basis.

This morning I went for a jog, I say jog like I’m in shape but really it was persuading myself to run to the end of my street, walk a block then run half way down the next street and walk to dunks.

I know that sounds like a normal fat girl solution to working out but it motivated me a little, instead of eating a donut (which looked so amazing glistening in the dim store lights) I am know eating half a bowl of Kashi cereal (I say half because anymore and I might actually develop a liking to cardboard..although that would solve my obsessive sweets intake so maybe that would be a good thing).

Anyway, the point of bringing this up (this being health and fitness and other things fat girls normally avoid) was to maybe inspire you to try something new. Whenever I’m in a bit of rut (like say now) I always need something to break me out of it. And if a sort of, kind of, not really much of a, jog is a way to start for me…maybe it could be for you?

On a side note, I went on my first date since the break up. Details to follow.

How to: stop destroying your relationships

Posted on by

2

I’m in a relationship,  almost through the honey moon stage…and just starting to realize it’s hard work. Our bubble is officially popped. I was in a relationship, and it was good. But after some soul searching I’ve realized the he was right, I didn’t give him enough time. I’m career focused and don’t really need to be in a relationship right now. Unless that person is willing to hang out on the back burner, which isn’t fair to them.

(The rest of this post was written a month before we broke up, hopefully something in it will help you) 

I started having feelings two weeks ago of this impending doom, imaging myself being suffocated by this link tying me to someone else. So I started doing what any normal person would, I acted weird and pushed my boyfriend away. By acting weird, I mean demanding he reassure his affection for me, then telling him we should take a break…I promise I am 1. not a crazy person and 2. not diagnosed with any personality disorder.

So in a weak moment I basically told him that I was afraid we were moving too fast and didn’t want to get hurt. All of which are true, but not the best thing to lay on someone you care about, someone who in a million years wouldn’t dream of hurting you (psych).

I’ve spent the entire day researching commitment phobia, and am positive that I have it, along with nine other disorders that I saw on web MD when I first typed it in.

The thing with commitment phobia is that you know at some point you’re going to get hurt, it’s been proven in the past. For me it was losing so many people at such a young age. I’m terrified to get close to someone and then have them torn away from me, so I choose not to. In fact, up until he showed up in my life I was doing just fine, I wasn’t even looking for anyone/dating.

But being afraid of losing someone isn’t a great way to live, or a great reason to be alone. In fact it’s a sucky outlook on life. Which is why, when after reading a wiki-how to article on getting over commitment phobia (I don’t know why I do these things to myself either) I realized I’m making a huge mistake. The article had you write down questions and answer what you are scared of, then you had to make pro/con lists…for everything. Next it told you to in vision your life with that person, what you could see…could you see anything? Did it make you scared or happy?

I was happy. I didn’t know I needed him in my life until I met him, and now that I have I don’t want to live without him (sadly still true, but at this point in my life I can’t be in a serious relationship with someone who just gives up if I consider relocating for a job).

If you want to stop self sabotaging then you need to take the first step: figure out what you are doing and then get to why.

Things didn’t work out for me, but it was a learning experience. I found what I need right now, and the type of person I’m looking for. With every new relationship there is always a chance to get hurt, and if you fight those fears I promise it will be worth it. 

And if you do get hurt, which will happen, just remember you will be okay, you will move on, and look at it as a learning experience.