Monthly Archives: August 2012

10 Things I’d Do if I had an Extra Hour

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I constantly feel like there is not enough time in the day for me to pursue everything that my little heart desires.

And as a blogger I think out of anyone I deserve just one more hour.

60 minutes, 3,600 seconds…I mean really, it’s not like I’m asking for an entire day, month or even a year (I hope you know have the Friends song stuck in your head, you’re welcome). I just want one measly hour of daylight (yes of daylight) where I can do anything and everything I would like.

Just to prove my argument further, I’ve written our ten things that I could possible do with my extra hour. Hopefully this will reach mother nature, or Cher…I feel like she could possibly be the one controling time, and gain an understanding of why I need an extra hour.

1. Cross one thing off my to do list: You know how everyone has those long utterly depressing life long, do or die, check lists? Well, wouldn’t it be nice if we all could set aside one hour of our day to complete just on of them? The answer is yes, yes it would.

2. Cook Dinner: The reason I reach for microwaveable things is due to the lack of time I have to cook a real dinner. But, if I had that extra hour I could put effort into chopping and sauteing (er, learning what sauteing is).

3. Clean: That’s right, I said clean. I would clean everything. My house would be the cleanest freakin’ house you’d ever see.

4. Get a free half an hour massage a day: Why free? Because Cher, I mean mother nature, would want me to.

5. Write: I think we all can agree that there isn’t always enough time to write. Between school, work, friends, life, and time to sleep, sometimes writing takes a back seat. But if I could dedicate a full hour a day (which, yeah I know I could without having that extra hour) to just writing, that would be wonderful.

6.  Spend time with family: So this one has a hidden part, I’d be able to split up the hour. It’s not that I don’t love going to see my family, I do! I just hate the drive there and back. But if it could be used as my extra time void then I’d be able to spend even more time with them!

7. Take care of business: You know all of those pesky little things that always weigh on your mind throughout the day? wouldn’t it be nice to just take care of them in one hour that didn’t count towards the rest of your day? All of those emails, phone calls, last minute bills, it’d be wonderful.

8. Beautification: I would actually try to look pretty. Well at least brush my hair, the rest of the 60 minutes would be spent using up hot water.

9. Reading outside: What if, for one hour a day, everyone had to take a break and read a book, magazine, anything you wanted to, outside. Granted, this would only work in the warmer months, but it would still be a darn good plan.

10. Banking hours: Okay, so if I could bank all of those extra hours during the week (equaling 5…see I can do math) and transfer them to a Saturday credit…that’d be great.

Notice how I didn’t mention sleeping..I already get enough of that. Well I don’t,  I just run on coffee and drugs..er

Dear Men: Go Balls Out

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I understand this is the 21st century, and as a woman I’m supposed to feel empowered to ask a guy out. That, due to the overwhelming amounts of bra’s the were burned in the 70′s I should want to make the first move. But uh, yeah…I’m not really feeling it.

To quote one of my amazingly funny friends: “For every hair I wax, it’s another dollar I want you to spend .” This came out in  one of her comedy shows while talking about how she used to feel bad when guys paid for dinner, that she was all about equality. Then after getting her first Brazilian decided that there was no gender equality situation great enough for her to feel guilty about accepting a free dinner.

This is why I’m all set with being the one to move the first mountain, and frankly lady friends you should be too.

Guys need to stand up and say it, not just putt around whatever they’re trying to get across. This goes both ways too.

If I’m not interested in a guy you know what I do, I tell them (in a nice way of course, but straightforward). You know what guys do, they don’t answer your texts, they stop calling..and while yes this is a clear hint- wouldn’t it be just as easy to say “hey while it was really fun getting to know you I’m just not feeling the ‘spark.’ best of luck on your dating adventures!” Clear, easy, and to the point!

I guarantee you girls will appreciate the honesty, or at least a version of the honesty…no girl needs to hear “thought you were cuter last night at the bar, I’d rather chew my arm off then be seen with you in public again.”

Okay, so we got this guys? Stop being so darn allusive with your damn game playing. No one likes your mind games, and I promise you won’t be scoring any “pie” with them either. 

Life in the City: The Getaway

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Sometimes the city starts to close in, and all of the problems that you’ve brushed away seem to find you, the people you wish to avoid are right around the corner, and that nagging voice that tells you “you’ll always be alone” gets louder.

That’s when you need to escape.

I’m a pro at that; the escaping part…though my nagging voice is pretty pro too, might’ve won the gold medal or something.

Thankfully, my parents gave me one and picked me up on the way to our camp in Maine. When I saw my mom at the door it was one of the moments where the past three weeks worth of emotions came out in one hug. It was nice to just feel like I didn’t have to hold it in, I mean she’s known me for 15 years now…she can deal with it.

She’s going to kill me for putting up this picture but it encapsulate everything I love about her. Unfortunately she isn’t wearing her pink crocs, next time.

After walking past her I got to my darling 14-year-old sister, I highlight the fact that she is 14 so other people who have a 14-year-old sibling understand. Understand what? Probably about as much as our parents who are raising them do.

After being caught up on the latest drama, I forgot how much happens when you’re 14, I settled in for the two and a half hour car ride to Grey. It was nice to just lounge in the car and not think about who I need to talk to, or who I’m currently mad/ignoring. I just got to think about how great the upcoming weekend would be. Can I just mention that while there I didn’t think about work ONCE! That’s pretty big for me.

Unfortunately my thoughts of nothing were interrupted with my little sister and mom’s conversation about “surprise babies.” So I volunteered the fact that I was a happy surprise baby, which led Kayla to the question:

“How do people have unplanned pregnancies?”

“Hey Ma, I’ll let you field that one.”

“Uh….”

Which then led to an uncomfortable conversation about how you should always use condoms, and why wouldn’t people want to use them all the time. I just stayed mute in the back.

It was weird to see my baby sister talk about how “when she has sex for the first time she’ll use a condom.”  Well one, that better be the case and two, you’re 14! I don’t want you thinking about that!

This whole trip made me realize that she’s growing up, a fact I’ve been quietly pushing away for quite some time now. Mainly because the faster she grows up, the faster I have to grow up, and I’ve done a lot of growing up already so I’m not all that pumped to jump on any fast track to adulthood that might be around.

While I have no doubts she’ll be an amazing young women (once she gets past this whole angst-y thing – that I obviously never went through….) I just don’t want to see her grow up too fast. And after seeing some ladies she used to be friends with I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried.

Back to me though.

So I was able to get away and get lost in memories from our childhood (like when my parents tried to put a hammock up, then both jumped in it, then both caused the hammock to fall. I’m still laughing as I think about it now). Plus, the whole being outside surrounded by trees and not cars helped too.

So ending advice: If you have an issue you can’t deal with- runaway. It will still be there when you get back, sometimes you just need a little space to figure out the best way to deal with it.

I used to be a good dater, what happened?

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There was a time in my life where I went on over 60 first dates, not because I was looking for love (I think we all know I would’ve just gone on the Bachelor if that were the case) but because I wanted to meet new people and see what was out there.

Back then, I was an amazing dater. I never had a bad date because I wasn’t expecting anything, so technically I couldn’t. Now though, now that I’ve experience good relationships…I’m hooked. I don’t want to be single, in fact I hate being single.

That’s right, I, a 23-year-old good-looking (yeah I’m saying I’m good-looking) young woman doesn’t want to be single. Why? Because men suck, most guys, in fact, suck. So I’d rather just find my forever (a term I call that one and only) rather than dating a bunch of random people who are just wasting my time.

For instance: (also I realize a good chunk of you read this just to hear about disaster dates…so you’re welcome) A guy came over recently. Yeah, probably not the best idea I realize that now. He knew that he had an hour, and that I was in the middle of work so it was just a meet and greet. No funny business, I am a lady after all.

So anyway, we’re talking and politics come up. Without getting into much he’s a conservative and I am not. He proceed to call me a “brain washed lemming” and “Stalin.” I know what you’re thinking, when are we getting married.

Not to disappoint but I kicked him out shortly after the Stalin comment.

It’s guys like that that are making it difficult to be a good dater. I’m just not interested in going on bad date, after bad date…I’d much prefer Prince Charming to just show up at my door step and announce that I no longer need to search.

Then again I’m sure we’d all like that.

Life in the City: My Carrie Bradshaw Moment

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your girl is lovely hubbell

“Your girl is lovely Hubbell”

Our every man, every kiss, every heartache, is preordered from some cosmic catalog, can we take a wrong step & wander off our milky way? I couldn’t help but wonder, can you make a mistake and miss your fate?

Fate. I stopped believing in it when I was 7 after some misguided plan had taken my mom. But now, I can’t help but silently wish there was a plan set in place just so I wouldn’t have to worry about the long drawn out plan, and instead could just enjoy the messy bits of life. If only it were that simple.

I discovered a twitter stream that shared all of Sex and The City’s greatest quotes, including one of my absolute favorite moments “She’s a lovely girl, Hubbell.” And besides reciting all of my inner thoughts as if it were a grand soliloquy that only the audience and I could hear, it got me thinking about fate.

What do we really know about it?  Could one wrong step, one wrong timing of a kiss,  really put you out of sync with yours?

I don’t think so, or at least I hope not. If there is a grand plan out there set in place, wouldn’t it just continue plowing through whether we liked it or not. I mean, hello! Serendipity.

Then again, I’m too strong-minded to believe anyone but me is in charge of my fate.