Sometimes the city starts to close in, and all of the problems that you’ve brushed away seem to find you, the people you wish to avoid are right around the corner, and that nagging voice that tells you “you’ll always be alone” gets louder.
That’s when you need to escape.
I’m a pro at that; the escaping part…though my nagging voice is pretty pro too, might’ve won the gold medal or something.
Thankfully, my parents gave me one and picked me up on the way to our camp in Maine. When I saw my mom at the door it was one of the moments where the past three weeks worth of emotions came out in one hug. It was nice to just feel like I didn’t have to hold it in, I mean she’s known me for 15 years now…she can deal with it.
She’s going to kill me for putting up this picture but it encapsulate everything I love about her. Unfortunately she isn’t wearing her pink crocs, next time.
After walking past her I got to my darling 14-year-old sister, I highlight the fact that she is 14 so other people who have a 14-year-old sibling understand. Understand what? Probably about as much as our parents who are raising them do.
After being caught up on the latest drama, I forgot how much happens when you’re 14, I settled in for the two and a half hour car ride to Grey. It was nice to just lounge in the car and not think about who I need to talk to, or who I’m currently mad/ignoring. I just got to think about how great the upcoming weekend would be. Can I just mention that while there I didn’t think about work ONCE! That’s pretty big for me.
Unfortunately my thoughts of nothing were interrupted with my little sister and mom’s conversation about “surprise babies.” So I volunteered the fact that I was a happy surprise baby, which led Kayla to the question:
“How do people have unplanned pregnancies?”
“Hey Ma, I’ll let you field that one.”
Which then led to an uncomfortable conversation about how you should always use condoms, and why wouldn’t people want to use them all the time. I just stayed mute in the back.
It was weird to see my baby sister talk about how “when she has sex for the first time she’ll use a condom.” Well one, that better be the case and two, you’re 14! I don’t want you thinking about that!
This whole trip made me realize that she’s growing up, a fact I’ve been quietly pushing away for quite some time now. Mainly because the faster she grows up, the faster I have to grow up, and I’ve done a lot of growing up already so I’m not all that pumped to jump on any fast track to adulthood that might be around.
While I have no doubts she’ll be an amazing young women (once she gets past this whole angst-y thing – that I obviously never went through….) I just don’t want to see her grow up too fast. And after seeing some ladies she used to be friends with I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried.
Back to me though.
So I was able to get away and get lost in memories from our childhood (like when my parents tried to put a hammock up, then both jumped in it, then both caused the hammock to fall. I’m still laughing as I think about it now). Plus, the whole being outside surrounded by trees and not cars helped too.
So ending advice: If you have an issue you can’t deal with- runaway. It will still be there when you get back, sometimes you just need a little space to figure out the best way to deal with it.