Category Archives: Career

Nanny Diaries: Meet Jabba the Hutt

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When I started taking care of this adorable little boy I had no idea what I was getting myself into. From feeding to blow outs, it was all a surprise. However, today we are focusing on the latter.

Every time I say feeding I think of a fat piglet chowing down a troth full of scraps and gravy drippings. Feeding a three-month old is basically the same thing, just messier.

First, if you can’t get to the bottle fast enough he turns into a screaming alien, hands flailing, face turning red…and then comes the head butts. It’s like he knows to go for my nose, the side with the nose ring obviously.

Once we are seated, burp cloth in place, baby in arm, bottle in hand, he starts doing this weird mouth thing, similar to this. That’s how I came to the decision that all babies (until about a year) are really Jabba the Hutt offsprings. Think about it..

All they do is lay around and eat. They are covered in fat rolls, and when they laugh it takes more effort then it should. They slither everywhere, parents (or nanny) are basically slaves who will do anything to please them, and although they are cute…you can’t help but be a little terrified. Yes, I just called Jabba the Hutt cute but terrifying.

And that, my loyal readers, is how I am a nanny to a three-month old offspring of Jabba the Hutt. Stay tuned for next week: “Nanny Diaries: Can an exorcism be performed on a baby?”

Nanny Diaries: Intro

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After I graduated from college I was going to move to New York, find some high paying job writing (HAH) and live in a studio close (if not identical) to Carrie’s. Funny how things turn out.

Instead I’m being motorboated by an eight-week old, spit up on, and now have various shirts that smell like poop. And the poop isn’t mine. In a world where it’s all about who you know, I somehow ended up on the short end of the stick.

After four weeks of not working, and not being able to find something that I would enjoy, I decided to give being a nanny a whirl. Because it wasn’t my first choice I was picky…I only  wanted a baby (because babies are cute), I wanted as many hours as possible, I want to find parents that I could talk to if there was an overlap, and I wanted to be comfortable.

On the last week of September I found just that, we met at Starbucks (already a good sign), she is close to my age (kind of), and her baby boy is the cutest baby boy I have ever seen. It was love at first sight, I had him smiling and he had me wrapped around his little pudgy baby fingers (literally).

It’s been an interesting three (going on four) weeks, I’ve learned a bit about myself (surprisingly I can keep calm in stressful situations) and have maybe discovered what it is I want to do (although that is a bit more iffy than the above).

So in lieu of my new job title I’m going to start a new “Nanny Diaries” post once a week. Sorry this one wasn’t exciting or cute. Stay tuned for next weeks post “Nanny Diaries: Meet Jabba the Hut”

Dear Tina Fey,

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So first off, I kind of want you to adopt me. I realize this is a strange request coming from a middle class white girl in her twenties who has two parents, but just hear me out.

When I say adopt, I mean let me be Daniel Larusso to your Mr. Miyagi. Dorothy to your Glenda, Cat to your Holly Golightly…well maybe not because I’m allergic to cats and pooping where I eat kind of grosses me out.

Before I go any further I think it is imperative (points for using a word from my word a day calendar? no? okay then) that you know there is a loud italian opera playing somewhere in my portuguese filled picture-esk suburban neighborhood..I think this gives you a clear understanding of why I need to be the Whitney Houston to your crack. *

I realize you probably get about a million (or 5 million and a half) emails/blog posts/articles/hand written letters daily. But I’m a little different. Partly because:

  1. I am not a crazed fan that is trying to get a lock of your hair
  2. Would get you extra sauce for your chicken nuggets without you having to ask me
  3. Have no problem exchanging scene ending lines while putting on a pair of aviators looking into the distance and
  4. I would be willing to introduce you in an Oprah voice whenever you entered a room.

What can I say? I’m just a nerdy recent college grad hoping that my sarcasm and decent writing skills will some day lend me to doing something that I love to do. Until then, I’m going to go back to answering phones and changing smelly diapers.

Sincerely,

Courtney (probably one of your biggest fans)

*that was a little strong, but I feel it works.

I hate the phrase “I need to talk to you”

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It does nothing but give me the shakes and remind me of when my mom used to say it. Usually because I 1. forged her signature on something (don’t get excited it was probably for extra credit or one of the educational groups I was in)  2. Broke something (my middle name is Grace incase you haven’t met me) or 3. she just felt like yelling at me (probably for a good reason, but in my world I can do no wrong…kind of. No let’s be real I’m hardest on myself).

Needless to say the phrase does not do wonders for my self-esteem. I start second guessing choices, doubting my abilities and often find myself a tad unloveable. Yeah I said it, unlovable. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I am pretty stinkin’ loveable, but at times… even i doubt my greatness.

And it only takes six little words to cause me to become my awkward 13-year-old self again. That’s when trouble happens, self-doubt:

 I tell myself that I’m horrible, and no one should like me…you know basic things a 13-year-old tells herself. And even though I know I should stop, I can’t help it. That little annoying (super mean) voice takes over and says everything that those awful girls in jr high said about me is true.

and just for the record, I totally rocked my black shorts with yellow socks combo…so suck it.

But meanwhile, this annoying mean girl voice just sticks in my head telling me how worthless I am until I finally do talk to the person. And by then every insecurity has taken over, I stutter out every word i am trying to say and usually am sweating through every article of clothing. It’s just not a pretty sight.

Although I know that it will be fine, for some reason I just can’t convince myself of that. I’m getting better at recognizing the voice though, I just tell myself to quit it. It lasts for about a second, then I go back to some more self-hating.

But you know, always a work in progress.

Keep Your Networking Profiles Consistent

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One of the biggest problems across the boards of social media is how people inconsistently portray  themselves…I know preaching to the choir.

From job search profiles to how you tweet, it’s important to show your network the same person. And it all starts with discovering your niche.

So let’s go back to an old article I wrote:

“One of the most important things to find is your niche. What do you like to do? What are you good at? I just realized mine is Dating/Career (topic wise). It may seem like these two don’t go together, but they have more in common then you would think.”

Are you starting to see why it is so important to establish this first? Finding your niche (okay now I’m over using the word…but I kind of like it so suck it.) will not only make you more likely to progress in networking, but it will also put you ahead of the game. Normally the things you like/find interesting, are the ones you know more about.

The hardest part after discovering what it is you want to be known for, is keeping it consistent. Once you have created this digital identity for yourself, you need to stick to it so you can 1. gain a following and 2. create credibility for yourself.

“A Digital identity is basically an electronic representation of you. The difference being it’s availability to way more people. When you think of how many people you interact with on a normal basis, just walking to class it’s probably..at most 50. Online it’s more like 50,000. Because of the popularity is social networking sites, and the instant access it provides more people are turning to sites like Facebook or twitter to find potential employees.” Don’t Be a Rebecca Black 

Once you’ve done all the hard work and have joined social networks galore it’s time to make sure you keep your profile consistent. Talk about the same general things, back up your experience with articles, and surround yourself with people in the same area of expertise.

Here is an example of someone with bi polar social networks:

On Twitter this person talks about weather reports, and updates their followers with the latest storm watches.

But on LinkedIn, it says that they are a hiring manager for Borders.

While it is okay to have interests in the weather, but by just tweeting about it like that you would lead people to believe that it has something to do with your career. It would become something you would be known for on Twitter, but lack mentioning on BeKnown, LinkedIn or Facebook.

This inconsistency would lead people to doubt your credentials in all areas. Although it is definitely important to share your interests with the world, it’s equally important to keep all profiles consistent. So if we go back to our bi-polar network friend we can add into each profile his interest in weather, and by even copying over other information from his networks. He can craft a profile based on all of his previous ones, then use just that one.

In the long run having one persona that you are known for is a lot less work than maintaining multiple identities. So stick to one, and create a brand for yourself.