So first off, I kind of want you to adopt me. I realize this is a strange request coming from a middle class white girl in her twenties who has two parents, but just hear me out.
When I say adopt, I mean let me be Daniel Larusso to your Mr. Miyagi. Dorothy to your Glenda, Cat to your Holly Golightly…well maybe not because I’m allergic to cats and pooping where I eat kind of grosses me out.
Before I go any further I think it is imperative (points for using a word from my word a day calendar? no? okay then) that you know there is a loud italian opera playing somewhere in my portuguese filled picture-esk suburban neighborhood..I think this gives you a clear understanding of why I need to be the Whitney Houston to your crack. *
I realize you probably get about a million (or 5 million and a half) emails/blog posts/articles/hand written letters daily. But I’m a little different. Partly because:
- I am not a crazed fan that is trying to get a lock of your hair
- Would get you extra sauce for your chicken nuggets without you having to ask me
- Have no problem exchanging scene ending lines while putting on a pair of aviators looking into the distance and
- I would be willing to introduce you in an Oprah voice whenever you entered a room.
What can I say? I’m just a nerdy recent college grad hoping that my sarcasm and decent writing skills will some day lend me to doing something that I love to do. Until then, I’m going to go back to answering phones and changing smelly diapers.
Sincerely,
Courtney (probably one of your biggest fans)
*that was a little strong, but I feel it works.
