It’s not so much that I hate it, more that I just find it so awkward to say. And I owe that to bad 70′s porn and the misuses of it in sitcoms.
“Have I got a package for you” Oh good because I’ve been waiting for my, oh…you don’t have the clothes I ordered from American Eagle. You thought we were going to..ohhh.
See how awkward it is.
This isn’t just some random topic I thought up in my head, well it is kind of. I was walking to the mail room to because I had received an email earlier that day (yesterday since I know you are dying to find out) that said I had a package that needed to be picked up.
So while walking to the other side of campus I was struck with the thought, how am I going to ask about it without bursting into laughter like the 11-year-old I really am.
So I came up with ideas:
“Hi, I’m picking up a package” Still awkward
“I got an email saying I had a package” what kind of package?
“Hi, I’m looking for my package” …
No matter how I dressed the words around it the word just stayed utterly awkward with underlying sexual means. So by the time I go to the mail room I was dripping with anxiety hoping something appropriate would come out
“Do you have a package for me?” Not exactly what I was hoping for.
Thankfully it was a girl, who was more preoccupied with other things then my need to not sound awkward. I signed for it then left.
But why should there be all of this sexual-ness attached to such an innocent word. I’m sure brown packages do not want to be put in the same category as a penis. Just sayin’. Plus I think men have enough names for their special friends, lets let the postal service have this one.